Sunday, July 08, 2007

Gofment Of Nasional Unity

It is no longer news that President Yar'adua has been reaching out to his erstwhile opponents in a bid to mend fences, and create what he called a Government of National Unity.
However, his approach leaves a lot to be desired. He's been extending the proverbial olive branch to people who would sell their grandmothers, their right arms, and their left testicles for an olive leaf. This is Nigeria for crying out loud. Politicians jumping ship is as certain as the sun rising in the morning. If I were in his shoes, I'd offer each scumbag the same thing - my natural black ass, and a bridge to jump off. But, like I said, he appears to be a decent sort. Bah. I fear he wont be any fun, unlike the greatest President Nigeria ever had. You guessed it folks - Baba. When my favourite general was in charge, he mowed down his opponents. He captured elections. Opponents simply shut the hell up and ran for the fookin' hills. He gave me stuff to write about. Not Umoru. Under this limp noodle, we may actually have elections in which votes count! What about Baba's legacy? Why does Umoru appear so determined to bite the hand that fed him until a few short weeks ago?

Umoru has even imported his peculiar brand of politics into the world's greatest party, the PDP. It is known that Baba wanted Chief Onikeke to be the new head honcho of the party, while Mr. Fix-It has been rooting for the treacherous Ken Nnamani, who was instrumental in frustrating the desires of teeming masses of Nigerians that Baba be allowed to continue beyond May 29, 2007, and thereby consolidate on the giant strides the nation took under his capable leadership. Nnamani, perhaps out jealousy or spite, chose to deny Nigerians their wish, and Baba was forced to quit the post he loved so much. Anyway, faced with this clear choice on what he should do, Umoru nominates Chief Onikeke for a ministerial post, thereby removing him from the running, and frustrating Baba's grand design. I fear there are dark days ahead for our former president. Indeed, being trapped in an infernal Lagos traffic jam for more than 3 hours may have only been the begining. Don't worry Baba, I am here for you, if you need a siren to clear the traffic out of your way, all I require is some Guinness Extra Smooth to lubricate my vocal cords. I can guarantee you'll only spend 2 hours 59 minutes in future hold-ups.

Now that you've all had your fun, down to more serious matters. The nomination of Maduekwe does indeed toss him out of the running for PDP Chairman, a post currently filled by Alli-must-go. As for the others, I am yet to lay eyes on the full list, but I have it on good authority that Baba's wishes in regard to the nominees have not been complied with.

This goes to show that Umaru may yet prove to be the Best Idea Baba ever had. And the most paniful to him personally. Who says there's no justice eh?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

2 comments:

Chxta said...

Nice one...:D

catwalq said...

my goodness,
u had me at the first paragraph...

thanks for stopping by my least noticed blog. Actually I am from Lagos state. U know we inherit from our father.
About Iyan and Ogbono, it's as a result of having a mother who is half itsekiri and half yoruba, while her mother is half itsekiri, half urhobo and whose mother (my great grandmother) is half urhobo, half ijaw. I am a mixed breed.

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I love my country, enjoy a cold beer once in a while, rabidly support Arsenal FC, but I don't get Diet Coke...