Physical Fitness

Sometime ago, while I was still doing my NYSC, it was decided by top management at my place of primary assignment that the lifts would no longer carry persons to or from the first floor. This policy was instituted with a view to ensuring that staff got some regular exercise at the office, since many people were way too tired to use the various gyms the company had partnered with. It was also believed that this new fitness regime would improve staff performance, and so on and so forth.

Needless to say that I, at the time was more than willing to use the stairs for a few reasons:
1. I was young and strong;
2. The lifts could often be a hinderance rather than a help; and
3. My office was on the first floor.

Of course, not everyone could comfortably play "spring chicken", and you'd find a few people at their desks and blowing like whales, or queues at the water fountain, as staff desperately tried to rehydrate themselves. And, naturally, the big ogas with first floor offices still used the lifts.

Well, if top management knew then what we found out today, there would have been a very simple incentive to physical fitness - the presence of the EFCC.

Iyabo Obasanjo-Bello has been engaged in a war of words with the EFCC since it was revealed that she collected some cash out of the 300 million Naira health ministry palaver, for which the heads of the minster and minister-of-state duly rolled. When the trial of the accused persons began, Iyabo was named as an accused person, but failed to show up in court. When the EFCC announced that she was on the run, she hit back, calling them liars. Recently, she bragged that she was ready for them.

Reports emerged today indicating that while EFCC officers were waiting to arrest her, Senator Iyabo Obasanjo-Bello, a woman who can hardly be described as a Marion Jones in her prime, evaded capture by going over the back fence of her Jabi residence. This event leaves a lot open to the imagination. You see, Iyabo is not noted for a physical nature, and seeing as she never embarked on a mountain climbing exercise like the "Action Governor" Lucky Igbinedion, one must wonder how she developed her technique. It is not yet known which high jump method she may or may not have utilised in making her escape, and it has also not yet been revealed whether a ladder or pole vault was discovered at the scene. All that is known is that the EFCC came in the front door, and Iyabo went over the back fence. One can only imagine the amused/frustrated looks on the faces of the cops at that moment. Frustration because she got away, and amusement because of how she got away.

No doubt, various men and women of high standing (and who may or may not become EFCC targets in future) are taking note of this, which shall soon become known as The Iyabo Method. Baba, on receiving the news of his daughter's narrow escape from the clutches of the monster he created, might have cringed in embarrasment at the idea of his child scaling a fence like a common crook, but then again, knowing Baba, he would probably have smiled with pride at her ingenuity.

Next time, however, she might not be so lucky...